Order of the Stick Decryption

[selenite0]

For fans of the Order of the Stick, Monday's strip looks like one where it's actually worth decrypting Haley's speeches instead of inferring them. For those who are both curious and lazy, here you go.

Haley's speeches are:
Elan, I'm in love with you. (duh)
Elan, I'm in love with you. Completely in love.
Love, love, love, love!
My dad is being held ransom by an evil dictator.
I'm not really in the Thievks' Guild anymore.
I cheat at solitaire.
I have a tattoo you've never seen.
I kissed a girl once.
OK, OK, more than once.
Elan, turns out I may not be exactly what you would call--